“You are allowed to be alive. You are allowed to be somebody different. You are allowed to not say goodbye to anybody or explain a single thing to anyone, ever.”—Augusten Burroughs (via jwallsjoystick)
“Because we don’t speak about sex, there is no socially acceptable language surrounding it. So the language of porn has jumped in to fill that space, and that’s an issue, because in a male-dominated industry the language of porn is all too often male-generated. The person who coined the term “finger blasting” didn’t have a vagina. The person who coined the term, “getting your ass railed” never got their ass railed. Pounding, hammering, banging… And language matters, because when the only language you have available is abusive and one-directional, in terms of having things done to you, it creates a very weird view of how sex works.”—
yeah FUCK the idea of a vagina (well, a vagina that’s connected to a person) being used as a masturbation toy
i have essentially no interest in porn, and i think it’s because even mainstream porn is SO unwelcoming to women. i’m not against the principle of porn, but when i go searching for it, i can’t avoid seeing all these really violent and creepy titles, which freaks me out and is isolating. like yeah sure i like being fucked and fucked hard but i sure as shit don’t want anyone “destroying” my vagina. i’m supposed to enjoy myself too, ya know.
i don’t think porn necessarily needs depict intimacy to be safer/better, but i think a lot of the mainstream videos don’t show respect between the involved parties and that’s completely inappropriate. i’ve also heard there isn’t always respect between the actors themselves, which is a separate can of worms….
oh, and also, i’m not trying to say it is inherently wrong to love having your vagina “destroyed” or what have you (though…. no one is exempt from cultural influence and i do think it is important to examine your kinks), my issue that these violent terms are common among mainstream porn.
“Someone can be madly in love with you and still not be ready. They can love you in a way you have never been loved and still not join you on the bridge. And whatever their reasons you must leave. Because you never ever have to inspire anyone to meet you on the bridge. You never ever have to convince someone to do the work to be ready. There is more extraordinary love, more love that you have never seen, out here in this wide and wild universe. And there is the love that will be ready.”—Nayyirah Waheed (via undeadlife)
“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.”—Criss Jami, Venus in Arms (via quotes-shape-us)